Addiction, Aggression, Depression, and Decomposition

Ill start off by saying im 15 okay, i made this account when i was 11 and started posting at 12-13 to make things clear.

This is to Antionio, Erica and her boyfriend Jio, Mel Kristen, Katrina, Clay, Jade, Macy, Marie, Lebrun, Zoe, basically all my classmates that had help me though this, and my late advisor who died from pneumonia  while teaching at 70.

When I came to New Era Grade 10, I was dealing with 2 things:

• Withdrawl from chewing tobacco
• Alcaholism

Looking back i was an at risk-youth, being on the spectrum (im not diagnosed autistic but adhd) didint help.

I made it to the second quarter beating my tobacco problem (by just not having it) until i had an infection on the left side of my front tooth, I went to the dentist with my mother and i was prescribed mefenamic to prepare for the surgery. And after that i still havent stop yet

SHIT I WAS OVERDOSING ON IT TO!!!!

(Unintentionally cus idk abt the limmit at the time)

So yeah, I started geting paranoid and soon ask help from my classmates to call the ambulance but not police if i experience overdose.

So one day I was at my lowest and tried jumping on the highway to commit suicide, but the fear of dying kept me away, that SAME FUCKING DAY MY ADVISOR DIED, so yeah i was at my lowest. I went home alone by walking and went to one of the near by drug stores that i went to get mefenamic, shit was cheap at abt P5 per pill.

I treated my self to 7 that day, and bought a sprite at 7-11 to go with the pills. It was the best combination that day, i went home defeated and tired about the news, that woman helped me with my academics and found intrest in me, idk why, there are other students in my batch and class like that but oh well.

So yeah i was at my lowest and decided to kill my self yk?

I got 10 mefenamic pills (WICH LMAO THATS NOT ENOUGH TO KMS, I KNOW NOW) and i got my headphones and linstend to some music, for whatever reason i was scared and decided to call up a classmate to pick me up. I got on 3 missed calls before Antonio (Tony for the sake of the story and typing) to pick me up.

Now i trusted Tony, it was very hard to come to terms with the death and he was there to talk if he was available, my god he was i saw him. So uhh yeah fast forward to the funeral of my advisor i was there and cried, it was hard to see her hollowed out body stuffed with silicone, metal wire, and wrapped up with a funeral dress.

I was balling my fucking eyes out, my god.

And uhhhh yeah, so after all of that is now summer break

ever since im done with mefenamic, but still dealing with alcoholism, also anger issues.

Its so tiering but I wanna see Tony, Erica, Kat, and Mel Kristen and confront my feeling with Mel, especially him i have a crush on him (i think he knows)

So to alll that has helped me and was worried for me, thank you, to all the people in tiktok that heard me out, my classmates who were avalable to talk to, and to a mix of alcahol with a mix of punk, pop punk, midwest emo, emo, Alex G, and my personal friends out of my scool.

None to my family as when they found out their reaction was selfish, like bitch why are u crying. Also fuck you to my brother for making noting of it when ur a worser person, and Marries boyfriend fuck you you nasty ass motherufker i hope you rot for looking down at me fucking ass hat.

I love all my audience in all platforms, thank you. I love you all.